Elder Rosemarie Henry
My testimony is one of deliverance from emotional turmoil. I was set free from the mental torment of not feeling loved and worthwhile. I lived with the mindset that I was unworthy of love and that no one could ever love or accept me. I always felt I was less than everyone else, and I could never measure up.
I deliberately got myself pregnant at the age of 18 thinking that I would find acceptance and love in my child. I clung to my baby and expected him to bring fulfillment to my empty life. The demands of motherhood soon brought me back to the place of feeling alone, unloved, and isolated. I kept searching for love and found that it was not in the places where I was looking.
After several abusive relationships and two more children later, I was at the point of a nervous breakdown. The situation in my home had become so unbearable that I did not want to go home after work each day. I would spend hours at work after everyone had gone home just so I didn’t have to face the abusive situation at home.
My older brother had given his life over to the Lord and had a tremendous testimony of deliverance. He would try to minister to me on occasions. In December 1994, I was at work late. It was one of those evenings that I did not want to go home when my brother called me. He told me that he had a message for me from the Lord. He said that the Lord had His hand on me for a long time and He could not protect me any longer if I kept rejecting Him. He then said that the Lord said it was time for me to come to Him. I listened to what he had to say and knew what he was saying was the truth. I hung up the telephone and cried out to the Lord in the middle of the room. I told God that if He were real that He would have to show Himself to me. Instantaneously, I felt the release of God. It felt like a heavy weight had been removed from my shoulders. It is difficult to explain, but I knew from that point on, God had taken my burdens upon Himself.
I began to experience a presence I had never experienced before. I kept asking God to help me find a church that truly taught the truth about who He was. In January 1995, I was invited to attend a church service at Pillars of Faith Tabernacle. I heard the Word of God taught in a way that I had never heard it taught before. At first, I found the church to be a little unconventional, but something kept pulling me back there. They were teaching about having a relationship with God - something that I had never heard taught in any church before. They were telling me that I was made in the image of God and that I was accepted and loved by Him and there was nothing I could do to stop Him from loving me. All I had to do was to believe His word and apply it to my life.
I started to study the Bible and I applied its principles to my life. My life began to experience changes in dramatic ways. My emotional, employment, and financial situations began to change. My children had changed, and even the abusive relationship I was in had suddenly ended without the danger I feared. Doors were opening up to me that I thought were impossible. More than anything, I began to experience the love of God.
His daily presence and love has become the foundation on which my new found life is built. I know that my identity is in Christ Jesus and that I can always come to Him and He will never forsake me. It is extremely freeing to know that there is someone who loves me. I don’t have to earn that love because it is freely given to anyone who will accept it.
Following a diagnosis of lung fibrosis in early 2008, I had to undergo a surgical lung biopsy to determine the extent of the damage so that my pulmonologist could decide upon a course of treatment. The surgeon found widespread damage and said I had interstitial lung disease which was causing the tissues of my lungs to become scarred and fibrotic. Much to my shock, he stated that I would have only 2½ years to live! My pulmonologist immediately started treating me with a high dose of prednisone. According to him, I would require a lung transplant because the damage was irreversible and no cure exists for this disease. After a year of treatment, he advised me to see a specialist in interstitial lung disease at Weill Cornell hospital.
Despite this dire doctor’s report, I was not scared or discouraged because I knew that Jesus took all my infirmities and healed all my diseases. I started trusting Him more and more. Though I was prayed for on several occasions and felt better at times, I got progressively weaker until I was unable to do anything at home. In order to preserve my energy and continue to work, my husband had to take over everything that I would ordinarily be doing around the house. My boss and co-workers could not understand how I was able to work but I knew that it was only by the grace of God.
I then developed rhinitis which triggered an ongoing cough. The constant coughing caused ulceration in my larynx, so now I had to take additional medication which caused even more side effects. I was feeling worse and worse to the point that I had to leave my job and go on disability in October of 2010. The specialist at Weill Cornell did not discuss a lung transplant but wanted to start me on another medication. When I refused this, he increased the other medications I was taking at the time.
On June 10, 2011, I attended a special healing service at my church, Pillars of Faith Tabernacle, where I was prayed for and healed. During the service, I received a confirmation of my healing from the Lord: “Arise, go your way, your faith has made you well” (Luke 17:19). The next day I got up early in the morning and was able to do things that I hadn't been able to do for a very long time: I did some work in the kitchen and went grocery shopping. After returning home, I did some cooking for almost three hours without a break yet still felt full of energy. That same night I went to a concert at church and still felt energetic when I arrived home at 11 p.m.At my doctor’s appointment the following week, he decreased the medication because he saw that my lung function had improved. Every day I continue to feel stronger and I'm able to do more and more with each passing day. All glory and honor to the Lord my healer!
Growing up, I was dragged to church once a week by my mother but I never looked at the Bible, prayed, or thought about God; I went through the motions but it was just an empty ritual. I was bored at church and couldn’t wait for the service to end. As the youngest of four boys, my brothers picked on me and gave me a hard time. I was always depressed. After I graduated from high school, I stayed home and watched sports all day on TV as a way to escape having to deal with people. I felt worthless and was very unhappy with myself. I was shy and afraid of people. I suffered from rejection and low self-esteem, and never wanted to face people because I felt so bad about myself. I was no longer in school and I wasn’t working, so I had nothing to talk to people about. Locking myself in my room allowed me to avoid dealing with my family and anyone else who would visit us. As a teenager, my mother would take me from doctor to doctor to find help with the depression. They would ask me questions and give me tests but they never found anything wrong with me. I went from program to program without any alleviation of my depression. They would just put me on different medications but nothing really helped.
In 1991 I heard about Jesus through my brother Vinny, who had become a Christian. Growing up, Vinny had been mean to me but now he was loving and caring to me and the rest of the family. He stopped cursing and using foul language. I watched Vinny’s behavior change over a period of time, and I was really impressed. It had never even occurred to me to call on God for help during all those years of depression, but since I had seen Vinny’s life change so radically, I started thinking that maybe Jesus could help me with my problems. Nothing else worked, so I decided that I would try Jesus and see what would happen. In 1997 I surrendered my life to Jesus and have never regretted it for one moment. I started attending church regularly, and as I read the Bible and prayed, Jesus took away the depression! Jesus is now everything to me—he is my provider, my healer, my peace. I love him because he first loved me and demonstrated his love by laying down his life for me. He renews my mind as I read and study the Bible. I now can connect with people and my shyness is gone.
Since the day I made this decision, my relationship with Jesus has grown and I feel much closer to him now. The Bible says that God is no respecter of persons, meaning that what God has done for me, he will do for you. What he did for Vinny, he also did for me. Jesus wants to help you with whatever you are going through. All my depression is gone. I no longer struggle with negative thoughts but now look at everything in a positive way. I am growing closer to Jesus every day. Now I care more about what Jesus thinks of me than what people think. As I’ve prayed and trusted in him and his holy word, he has helped me through many difficult situations.
God has been so good to me! Thank you Father for sending your Son to die for me! Thank you for meeting all my needs.
About four years ago I was diagnosed with a very serious disease. I had Pulmonary Atrial Hypertension. It is a fatal disease affecting the lung and the heart. It was mild at that time so I decided to not take any medication.
Last year, I started to have difficulty breathing, especially on exertion. I went to doctors who took tests and said I now had severe PAH. I was put on medicaton and oxygen therapy. I stayed on the meds for about a year.
Then, I kept getting an impression from the Holy Spirit to go get another test. I made an appointment with a doctor in Great Neck. He took some breathing tests and felt that I should not be taking the medication. So, he took me off it, and sent me to the heart specialist. She gave me a new test. The technician said he could not see any problems. The heart specialist read the results and said last year I had severe PAH but this year it is mild. Praise the Lord!!!! This disease cannot be reversed. The only thing that can be done (and not all the time) is to prevent it from getting worse. The pulmonary doctor said he was baffled and took me off all oxygen.
Praise The Lord for his mercy on me. For His excellent healing and kindness.